


When you are drownings in Lemons...

by AwatereJones



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Christmas Story, Drama, F/M, Gen, Horror, M/M, Romance, Suspense, Thriller
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:40:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28176291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwatereJones/pseuds/AwatereJones
Summary: Ianto has a good job, Lisa and future that all changes over a mistake. He does the patented Jones-Hit-n-Run to his old home town here he learns that when life gives you lemons there is only one thing to do... this one is a romance, thriller and a little scare here and there because this IS me after all. And of course Jack is right there in the thick of it. Love my crumbly 4EVA
Relationships: Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Owen Harper/Toshiko Sato
Comments: 39
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

Ianto adjusted the display one more time, feeling great pride in the store as it looked like a winter wonderland with the spines of the books so carefully placed to create a little grotto complete with fake snow on the ground and the table covers with great suggestions for gifts.

"Good god mate, it's only October… we've not have Halloween yet!" a voice grumbled behind him and Ianto turned to smile softly as he acknowledged one of their more cranky customers.

"Yes Mister Fogety but let us remember that some have to post overseas and this time of year is better to start preparing rather than next month when the madness really starts." Ianto crooned, reaching out to help the old man with his purchases.

"Bloody bullshit and bluster if ya ask me!" the old man huffed.

"Says the Mister Scrooge who likes those cookies I bake all season hmmmm? You don't want me to start those yet?" Ianto said with fake sweetness and as he expected, the old man laughed and slapped at him as Ianto added "I have some under the counter now."

"Me wife says I am getting fat!" the old man said as he reached out and took three.

"Now… that' snot fair. After all, it's getting chilly and surely you are simply wrapping up with more layers" Ianto said as he took another three cookies and placed them in a bag, "For the good woman"

"Ahhhh, are they ginger…"

"No. They are cinnamon. I know her blood pressure does not do well with ginger" Ianto replied, patting the old man's arm comfortingly "You know… she will outlive us all."

The old man smiled, finally softening as the only staff member in the entire store he liked showed familiarity to him. "Well… it does look festive. The window is great."

"Thanks… it took me most of the night to get that bloody teddy bear to sit on the sleigh properly. Thought I might have to resort to the staple gun. Imagine… stapling a bear's arse in the middle of the night. How does one explain that to a passing Heddlu officer looking into the darkened shop. I would have looked like a serial killer with my latest victim, Dexter style."

The old man roared with mirth, paid and stomped out muttering to himself as Ianto's workmate slid out from behind the display case "Thank god you can handle him. God, he's scary."

"He's just old" Ianto smiled softly "My Grandfather was the same."

"I don't know what we would do without you" Graeme said as he slapped Ianto on the shoulder "You are the only one who can handle these old ones on pension day, reboot the system when it crashes, knows how to work that ancient copier… the coffee machine… the scissor lift…. and I swear to god, you are the heartbeat of this store."

"Well, thanks" Ianto said with delight, turning to sigh as they watched one of the other staff members drop yet another bundle of books everywhere and a faint yell from a supervisor to get a bloody trolley filled the air.

"And… then there's Henry" Graeme grimaced "Bloody twat!"

"Yes. Makes me proud to be a Jones" Ianto said with a sniff that had both men giggling at the inside joke as five of them worked here, Jones men…. none related.

Ianto was under the counter humming softly as he lay on his back, letting his fingers trace the wires back to check for a disconnect as the staff member apologising to the waiting customers hoped like hell Ianto could fix it. Of the entire staff, this man was the one with the Midas touch. He could fix these antiquated systems with ease. The store was overdue for an upgrade but as this would cost thousands… tens of thousands… the standard thing was to find Ianto.

"Ianto … this is Mister Simons" Lisa said as she stopped at the counter, Ianto looking out as those long luscious legs that went alllll the way up and he slid out to smile up at her, one hand sliding around her ankle before he registered her telling him the new night supervisor had arrived from the other store.

"Oh, hello there" Ianto popped up and smiled politely, offering his hand "I am Ianto Jones, and I…."

"Well. I think a little more decorum would be nice here" Simons huffed as he accepted the handshake and his large signet ring was cold to the touch. He was looking at Ianto's unbuttoned shirt and messy hair due to the tight space he had been working in, then he turned to Lisa "And I think that was a far too familiar reaction from him. You know you can file a sexual harassment claim if you want, I can corroborate that he touched your ankle suggestively."

"Well… she is me girlfriend" Ianto defended himself "We do live together ya know!"

"What? Fraternization?" Simons said with open horror "is this against policy?"

"No" Ianto repaid calmly "Mister Fitzgibbons not only knows but he sent us a lovely little congratulations card when we announced our engagement!"

"Engaged, well… why didn't you say so" Simons snorted "Well… I have my eye on you!"

Everyone spent the rest of the shift making motions with their fingers from their eyes to Ianto and back again with giggles as they made sure Ianto knew they had their eyes on him as well.

Ianto put it out of his mind as he knew sooner or later the man would see how valuable he was to the company and how much the Old Man liked him.

Everyone knows… if Fitzgibbons of Fitzz Stores likes you… EVERYONE likes you.


	2. what?

"There you are" Fitzgibbons said as he entered the staff room to find Ianto at the table with a coffee. Ianto rose and immediately made the Old Man one, just how he likes it and the old man sighed happily. No one cared for him like that.

"And what brings you to the coal face sir?" Ianto asked politely and the old man sighed.

"We have some shrinkage happening, seems to be electrical gadgets disappearing but the security cameras are not picking anything up out on the floor" he told Ianto, "very vexing."

"Wait… you only checked the floor? Did you check all the exits? I would check ALL the exits. If they come into the store, they have to leave right? If you can narrow down who is walking out with them, then backtrack to where they are managing to nick them from right?" Ianto surmised.

"Jesus, you are right. We don't need to find the moment of the uplift, we need proof that they are leaving the property. Thanks Ianto, you always see outside the box." The old man rose, patting his arm as he added "Literally right?"

Ianto then put it out of his mind and went back to work, hopeful of a quiet shift as Lisa wanted to do some shopping in the mall before they went home.

It was almost home time when he got a message to come to the Manager's office and he wandered up there with surprise, the lock up procedures in his head as he entered and smiled to Simons and the other night manager Higgins.

"Take a seat Jones" Simons said with a look of rare glee. In the two months that he had worked here, he was still calling everyone by their last names. This was so annoying but Ianto did not comment, sitting calmly to stare at him with mild interest.

"Right. As you know, we have had some shrinkage happening lately" Higgins said.

"Yes, Mister Fitzgibbons was talking to me about it, I suggested checking the exit cameras" Ianto nodded.

Higgins blinked, looking confused as Simons interjected "well, we checked the exit cameras and you know what we found?"

"No?"

"We found someone was walking out with boxes and placing them by the dumpster, where someone else was waiting to pick them up and move away" Simons said with a look of triumph.

"Jesus" Ianto leaned back with shock "Well… there ya go."

"Yes. There ya go. Is that all you have to say?" Simons demanded.

Ianto stared at him with open confusion, then turned to Higgins with raised eyebrows "Is there something else?"

"Ianto… mate. The key card being used was traced back to…"

"Jones!" Simons said with satisfaction. Ianto blinked. He then opened his mouth to point out how many of them have that last name when the man spoke again "So the Heddlu are here downstairs and when we complete your sign out and final removal from this company they want a word or three with you downtown. We WILL press charges… oh yes we will you little shit!"

Ianto blinked, then opened his mouth but the man cut him off again "You spineless little shit. I am so sick of your 'yes sir' and 'no sir' bullshit routine while you have been robbing us blind. I caught you. Fair and square, I got you mother fucker!"

Ianto closed his mouth and stared at him as he wondered if this was some elaborate wind up but now he was getting angry. He knew it was not him, knew it can be proved that it was not him but as he sat there watching this man crow over him, the other man who had known him for almost five years not defending him he felt something inside him snap.

"Alright. So… you are firing me. I need that in writing as well as my final sign out procedures!" Ianto said calmly, surprising himself as well as them, leaning forward to pick up a pen "We can sigh the exit strategy plan now if ya like. Let's do this. Fire me. Fuck you, fire me!"

"With pleasure!" Simons snarled in his face, snatching the pen and signing with a flourish, the papers already there. Ianto singed and handed the pen to Higgins who was starting to look a little startled by the entire thing, looking around like he was finally starting to see that this was not right.

"SIGN IT!" Simons roared as his fist hit the table, the signet ring banging loudly with each word and Higgins finally did so.

Ianto then calmly rose and shot his cuffs, then picked up his copy of the termination papers, nodding to each man as he started to walk out, then he paused in the doorway, turning to look at them one more time "Oh..and you need to warn mister Fitzgibbons that you just did this."

Ianto walked downstairs to the waiting Heddlu who looked shocked to see him coming, looking at each other as they both knew this man well. "Ianto?"

"Someone just … Lisa?" Ianto stopped talking to them as Lisa came flouncing over, her face full of anger as she tore the ring off her finger and slammed it into his hand.

"How dare you embarrass me like this" she hissed "My god Ianto. I want to make management here… how could you!"

"I didn't" Ianto closed his hand over the ring and stepped back from her "Someone with the last name of Jones did and he hates me so jumped to conclusions. I am the wrong man but by all means Lisa… leave me so easily! I will remove my things from the apartment before you finish your shift. Thanks for that."

Ianto left in utter despair, his last act as he is leaving to remove the little notebook with all his notations for the equipment, flicking it into the shredder in the corner of the staff area.

The noise of years of knowledge being chewed up by this machine strangely comforting.

Fuck them all.


	3. another kick in the goolies

Ianto was cleaning house, literally.

He had left the Heddlu station vindicated in the first few frames of the security camera as the man in the screen had a hoodie on and the two officers sighed as they knew Ianto only wore suits.

"Lew. That's Lew Jones" Ianto said softly as he watched it as well "He works in the storeroom."

"Sorry Ianto"

"No matter" Ianto sighed as he straightened his back "Time to go anyway."

Ianto now stood at the back of his car, the trunk full, the back seat full and the slobbery dog in the front seat ready to go with her head already out the car window staring straight forward. This was one German Shepherd who loved the car, and her human.

"You know… you are right Myf. Let's go" Ianto got in the driver's seat as his phone went off for the umpteenth time. He knew the store number off by heart and he ignored it. Doesn't work there anymore right?

He drove up onto the main highway then headed south, heading to the one place he knew he might feel better.

After eight years in the big smoke… Ianto Jones was going home.

.

.

"Ianto!" someone called out as he got out of the car to stretch. Typical. Middle of the night, middle of nowhere and already someone knows him. He turned to see a childhood friend powering towards him with delight "Bloody hell man! Where the hell did you come from?"

"Rhys? Rhys Williams? Christ on a Harley… hey buddy!" Ianto let the man engulf him on a hug laughing as he felt the first tendrils of relief.

Home was still here.

Ianto found himself in the home of his old friend, the mother of the house fussing about as she poured coffee for the 'boys' and Ianto settled back with a wide grin as he learned that his mate was getting married to the gappy girl… shit… gotta stop calling her that. Even in high school that one pissed her off to the point of punching people.

"Yan?"

"Sorry mate. Just telling myself I have to not call her Gappy to her face" Ianto replied and Rhys's mother started to snigger softly over at the sink.

"wanker"

"sez you"

Both men sat grinning at each other, reveling in a childhood memory that still endured, then Rhys asked "You gonna stay here the night? Late so…"

"Nah. I will… see you tomorrow. Just wanna get to the house and…. What."

Rhys stared at Ianto like he was insane and then he said softly "But… there is someone in the house."

Ianto frowned as he knew he had told the real estate agent to stop leasing it out about six months ago. He had intended coming here for Christmas with …well. Someone who doesn't matter now. Damn. "OK, I will grab a couch or something and check things out tomorrow. Mel must have rented on a short term lease or something."

Rhys grinned as he slapped Ianto on the shoulder, "Don't be silly. I still have the bunk beds. You can top."

Ianto stared at him with open horror then Rhys started to snigger and Ianto realized he was kidding "Wanker."

"I prefer Twat!" Rhys said in posh voice "You Cretan!"

More giggling as the two men headed upstairs and Rhys showed Ianto the guest room. Double bed and all. Yah. He would sort this out tomorrow.

.

.

.

Ianto knew he should have gone to the real estate office first but he had to see the place. Check it out so he decided on a drive by. Nothing creepy there right? Except… what. The. Actual. Fuck!

Ianto to out of his car and stood gaping at his family home, totally unrecognizable with a fresh coat of paint… yellow?...what the fuck… that's the wrong colour… and the front archway gone. The roses that had climbed up that arch were so special as his mother had planted those and… what. Ianto stared at the letterbox with HARKNESS painted on the side, his anger growing as it was clear to him that the bloody tenant had settled in very nicely. Damn it Mel.

"Who are you!" an American voice demanded, Ianto turning to find a handsome man in a rugged 'fuck me now' kind of way.

"Me? I am Ianto Jones!" Ianto snapped with annoyance at his tone.

"Jones. Like the people that used to own my place?" Harkness pointed to the house "Damn, it was in a bad way. Don't you ever clean out guttering?"

Ianto stared at him "What do you mean….used to own?"

"Well, I purchased this place six months ago" the man laughed softly "Don't you remember? You and you sister….."

Ianto was storming off for his car and the man shook his head, then called after him "I'm Jack by the way."

Ianto roared off in the car with a look of murderous rage and Jack shook his head "That is a strange cat there Janet."

The small black and white cat that had been following on his heel like a dog simply sat and curled her tail around herself as she pondered things too.

Interesting indeed.


	4. squeeze more in the cuts

"Look… I don't know what to tell you" Melinda said as she watched the man stalking up and down in front of her desk "Rhiannon had the right paperwork, your Grandfather had signed it and I…"

Ianto made a rude noise and was now beyond agitated as he spun to face her "My Grandy did not own the place to sell. Grandy is in the Old Folk's Home. Assisted living… Dementia. The place was from Mama's side of the family, not Da's. It went from Grandpa Phoenix to Mama… to me! Even if Rhiannon did convince the poor old bugger to sign papers to sell the place, it ws not his to sell. It did not belong to Ifan Lewallen Jones… I inherited it from Mama and it belongs to Ifan Phoenix Jones. Me!"

Melinda stared at Ianto with a slow dawning horror, her guts twisting as she knew he was right. Not only had his mama grown up on this town, so had she and she now remembered her parents still calling it the Phoenix house sometimes. "Oh god."

Ianto flopped into a chair "So… she scammed you, scammed this…this… American… and now a stranger is in my house, tearing things out and changing it. What now?"

"God. Now we have to call Andy" she reached for the phone her horror raw now as she knew she was also in deep shit here for this. How could she have forgotten. It was not a Jones house until Ianto's mother married. It was ALWAYS the Phoenix house. God. Shit.

.

.

"Right. So let me get this straight. Your grandfather left it to your mother. She left it to you" Judge Ferris said as he looked over the paperwork and deeds "Then your sister somehow got your father's father to sign papers and convince Mel to sell the house for her as you both have the same name."

"Yes. As you can see, Mama gave me her surname as my middle one. Phoenix. The deed when ownership passed from her to me … see says Phoenix." Ianto pointed out "Rhiannon banked on the fact no one notices things like that and as it was so long ago clearly she was right. Grandy signed whatever she told him to, Dementia so like a small child. She then bamboozled Mel here. I do not blame Mel, this was clearly my sister in snake mode."

"Well, this is a clear cut cast of fraud and theft via deception young man. You are the legal owner of the place, you never sold it. It is still yours. The man in the house is essentially a squatter." The Judge nodded as he sat back "I am here-by issuing a trespass notice in the man and…"

"Oh god" Mel said softly "He has nowhere to go. Right on Christmas… what will I do? The Carter place is empty but that it to be sold in the summer and… he has a kid."

"What?" Ianto asked with horror.

"Mister … Captain Harkness has a daughter. Moved here after her mother died to … well… to start a fresh. I don't know if he can afford this hit… is this my fault? Oh god… am I covered for this by my insurance?" she wailed as Ianto looked from her to Andy, then to the Judge.

"Well… I am sorry Mel. You were had. That man was had but this is not Ianto's fault and legally that is his house." The judge said softly.

"Right then. Rip off the Band-Aid. I will go explain things to him and see what his next steps are likely to be. We can offer him the Carter place for now while we sort out the money side of things. Jesus, I don't know if your insurance covers this." Andy said as he straightened his uniform "But I will see what we can do Ma."

.

.

.

Ianto felt so conflicted as he stood in the store staring at the fruit. He did love the Davies family like his own but damn… so much cheese. He wanted some fruit and that said a lot for him to want a healthy snack.

"HEY!" someone shouted and he turned to find the American storming towards him, teeth gnashing and eyes wild "You think this is a fucking joke? This bullshit is gonna fly? I have my lawyer on this and I am telling you now you piece of shit, you are not taking my house!"

Ianto stared at him with shock then managed to stutter "It's my house, sold to you illegally."

"Bullshit! Your name is in the deed your signature on the sale agreement. It's legal and binding and I swill see you in court you piece of shit!" the man had quite a loud voice, booming around the store and Ianto was aware of an audience forming as he tried to slide along the fruit displays away from this imposing figure.

"My sister robbed you, she tricked you and I had nothing to do with it. The house is mine and was sold without my knowledge." Ianto said, anger starring to make him blush as he saw more people stepping around shelving to watch "I want my house back you wanker!"

The man stared at him long and hard, and then to Ianto's immense surprise he swung, catching Ianto on the jaw and Ianto flew back into the fruit with a yelp as people rushed to stop the man hitting him again.

"I will not give up my house you piece of dog shit" the man roared as he was held back "My daughter loves that house, it's her house, her home. You can't rob me like this!"

Ianto sat on the floor in complete dismay.


	5. looksie

"I … I don't want to press charges" Ianto said to Andy as he stood with a bag of peas to his jaw.

"Well.. it's not up to you!" Andy replied calmly "It was in the store, they want to press charges and ban him. He will have to go before the judge."

"Oh god" Ianto sighed, rubbing his face.

"But… at least one thing came of this. He's not in the house right? Go check it out, you know you can enter it any time you want. Go check for damage or anything that might need addressing before he moves out" Andy counselled and Ianto nodded feeling conflicted about that.

"Where is the kid?"

"School. Not out for another three hours. Go. He will be bailed long before that and you don't have long"

.

.

.

The wallpaper was gone. His mother's horrible floral print replaced with painted walls. Ianto stood with the keys in his hand looking at the walls with a mixture of horror and admiration. He missed that tacky floral pattern already.

He walked around the house taking in the wall removed between the living and dining to make it one large living area. Not bad. He noted a new fire box, the new stove and water cylinder… this man had been spending money on this place. Shit. Ianto would owe him for this right? God, he didn't know if he had the money for this. The lawyers were still fighting over his wrongful dismissal and although the company was terribly ashamed to find they had fired the wrong Jones, they were even more upset to find that Ianto was unwilling to give them any assistance now.

" _Ah… you fired me?"_

They pleaded for him to come to work and it then turned to demands, then threats. The threats were of interest to the lawyer who had him record them and pass them on. Things were getting ugly back there in London and he was glad he was away from it all.

Not that this was much better.

Ianto stood in his childhood bedroom and stared at the little bed covered in an explosion of pink and white… so many toys and pillows. Clearly this little girl was a much adored princess.

He jiggled the keys in his hand then started to take photos of the improvements and changes to the house, his heart in his mouth as he looked at the garden his mama had tended, all ripped up and changed. Her roses gone. God that hurt.

He was walking to his car when a flash black SUV swung into the driveway and the American jumped out to advance on him. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Looking for my mother's prized rose garden, but it seems you tore that memory away" Ianto said back, beyond angry with this mess "I know you made changes as you thought this ws your house but the pain and awful truth is that is isn't. you've destroyed the most treasured part of it. Mama's rose covered archway here!"

"It was old and a hazard. Alice tried to climb it and the rotten wood gave way!" he retorted with his hands on his hips "And as it IS my house, I can do what I like!"

"I see… well… you need to talk to the Real Estate Agent and her son, the local Heddlu officer don't you know. Seems you need to calm your jets before I get too pissy" Ianto snarled storming for his car as the man watched him go with open confusion.

Damn it all, Andy! You were supposed to talk to him already.

.

.

.

"Honey, I'm home" Rhys called out, entering the house and waving to Ianto who was on the sofa with the local paper, Ianto flicking it over to look at his friend and smile, then it faded as Gwen fucking Cooper followed him in with a huge grin on her face.

"Ianto!" she said as soon as she saw him "Aw, Pet. So sorry to hear about your house. What will you do?"

Ianto stared at her, trying to remember what Rhys said he saw in her, then smiled softly as he politely said "Well… I intend getting it back."

"Well… it's an awful mess." She plopped into a chair "Poor Jack. He's such a nice guy."

Ianto stared at her silently.

"He's ex secret service ya know. Worked on some elite force in America, should see his medals and things" she gushed, Ianto's eyes sliding to Rhys who stood in the doorway with a sandwich in his hand, dripping jam on the carpet as he stared at her.

"Where did you see his medals?" Rhys asked.

Ianto was curious too, he hadn't seen them at the house on display.

"He has them in a drawer in his bedroom" she sniffed then froze as both men stared at her with matching looks of incredulity.

"What! I helped him pick his drapes!" she said with wide eyes.

Ianto wondered just how much trouble this Jack Harkness was going to be.


	6. time to stop wallowing

Ianto could hear the arguing and he knew it was partly his fault but… not really. Gwen had been the one who had not only gone into the house but helped the guy. His bedroom? Really? Rhys was enraged and Ianto hoped it didn't turn into a thumping match as clearly this Jack character could hit. Gwen knew all along what was happening, Christ. She had been friends with Rhia in school, stands to reason she's a snake too.

Ianto sighed as he looked in the bathroom mirror at himself, his freshly shaven face showing the livid bruising for the man's fist and he sighed. What a clusterfuck. The family had left for Sunday Service before he woke and their return had made him finally drag himself out of bed. He knew Gwen would be scoffing at his Pagan upbringing again as she had the night before when she had pointedly asked him to come to church with them knowing his beliefs. It was like she couldn't help herself, needling him at every opportunity.

"Ianto? Breakfast dear" came a soft call form Rhys' poor mother and Ianto went down, determined to be civil.

Andy was there waiting for him "Hey. Harkness tried to get an order of protection against you."

Ianto blinked.

"It's OK, the Judge was enraged. He had already seen the charge against him for thumping you in the store and now this… he's ready to evict the dude. Mum has arranged for the Carter house to be available and I am going to tell him he has to leave now. OK?" Andy asked seeing Ianto's dower glare.

"Andy… none of this is your fault and I am sorry if I appear… rude. I am just so fed up with this mess and I want my house back." Ianto settled in the chair "thanks for all the work you are doing. I do appreciate it."

"The Carter House. That creepy old haunted place at the end of Torchwood lane? What about Alice?" Gwen asked.

Ianto stared at her.

"Well… that's not really fair Ianto. This is not his fault either and now he has to get out?" she huffed "Right on Christmas?"

Ianto pushed his plate away "Thanks Missus Davies, I am not that hungry."

Ianto rose and left the house, feeling like a first class piece of shit but really… this was not his fault either.

.

.

"So, they are in the middle of a major meltdown" Graeme was telling him over the phone "The Old Man went right off. Spittle flying, the glass shelving rattling … the works. He's tried to reach out to you a few times."

"I know but… I am done. I worked there so many years, was a faithful servant and one of their top workers. I should have been protected, not let go because of my last name. No. I am not coming back and they can fucking sink under the shit they caused themselves." Ianto replied sitting in the sunshine of the park, the riverbank serenely quiet as a few ducks wandered about waiting for him to throw some more food to them.

"You feeding ducks?" Graeme asked "Bread is bad for them ya know."

"Shut up, the wrong bread is and this time of year the ducks that have not flown south are starving. You know some breeds can't fly south right?" Ianto threw some more.

"Seriously?"

"You work in a book store… look it up."

"Huh. Well… ya learn something every day. Hey… the industrial wrapper died. You used to tweak it once a week to keep it calibrated. All those pellets of boxes are now being wrapped by hand for the trucks. It takes three guys!" Graeme chortled, "I am staying out of that one!"

Ianto felt a quiet thrill as he learned that the store had not only floundered without him but as he had predicted, some parts had broken down completely. Good. Hope that prick gets a good slap on the wrist from the Old Man.

"Oh, and guess who got fired?" Graeme giggled softly "Apparently for… getting caught by the old man with a hand up a certain black woman's shorts in the photo copier room?"

"What?"

"Yeah, apparently Lisa thought Simons might be a better chance of advancement here so… she went and…well… sat on a part of the machine that provides…well…. Left some in the copier by mistake." Graeme choked on his own laughter "His signet ring is unmistakable and her arse was sublime… but…well… those knickers… and the security cameras caught them entering and leaving together. Cut and dried. Both of them gone."

"Well... there is some justice in the world" Ianto felt a lightening as he learned that Lisa got her comeuppance at least. Good.

"So… what will you do now? That tribunal case is looking to net you a fair bit of change. Are you going to get another job?"

"Why I am calling. Reference?"

"Cool!"

Ianto nodded as he finished filling out the job application at the local library, knowing he was a shoe-in. after all… he not only used to work there before he left but the dear old biddy that works there now as head Librarian was his English Teacher. Estelle was a sweet old lady to him even if the rest of the town feared her tongue. Books are books and he needed to be around them.. to have them around him ya know? Even if this pay out for wrongful dismissal got him a fair bit of change, he could not live off it forever and he needed to be busy. Useful. Needed.

He threw the rest of the bread and rose, brushing off his pants to go hand it in.

He just wanted his life back.


	7. snake bite

"Look… I can see the problem and I understand that but it's almost Christmas and my little girl… I can't just move her out of here like this. God, she lost her mother, my ex-wife and this is the only other house she has known since I had to take her from the one she ws born in!" Jack said with dismay, Ianto feeling honestly wretched for it.

"I understand that too. The problem is that it is my house." Ianto sighed then he rubbed his face "Look… the Realtor's office is going to have to stump up your money, their insurance can pay you back and then sue my sister. But… I do get the Christmas thing. I will tell you what. I will stay with the Davies family until after Christmas and then you can move into whatever house you purchase right?"

"Really?" Jack seemed genuinely shocked "you … you would give me that?"

"This is not your fault, nor is it mine. It will be less of a hardship for me to be in a strange place than your daughter. Yeah. I will give you until the end of January, that's Christmas and New Year, then move into another place before school starts so she is settled."

"I… thanks" Jack offered his hand and Ianto accepted, the handshake warmer than he expected as Jack finally seemed to understand the predicament they were all in here.

He could do this.

Rhys' house was good, right?

.

.

.

"I don't' understand" Ianto said slowly, looking from Rhys to Rhys' mother with confusion "Er… what?"

"You know what!" Rhys huffed "Gwen told me!"

"Told you. What!" Ianto demanded "look, I am completely stumped here mate…."

"Mate! Mate! Are you serious? You make a pass at my bird and then…"

"Hold on a minute!" Ianto roared, shocked and angry. Christ, this was tiring into a a shitty few months "When am I supposed to have done this?"

"The other night, when I went to the loo because of the curry!" Rhys said with annoyance.

"She left right after the meal because of your impending Curry Belly" Ianto pointed out "And I did not leave all night."

Rhys glared "well… before she left then!"

"With you and your mum in the room."

Rhys glowered "Look… I don't' know when but if she said ya patted her arse… ya patted her arse"

"Right. OK. So I… a bisexual man who likes his partners dominant, tall and athletic patted the plump arse of your frumpy girlfriend did i?" Ianto folded his arms "I would rather cut my hand off than touch up Gappy and you know it!"

Rhys seemed to inflate and Ianto knew it was a done deal, sighing as he headed for the stairs "fine. I will pack and leave. Thanks for everything Missus Davies. Good luck with Gappy, she's a bloody snake still I see."

Ianto was furiously slamming clothing in the suitcases while fiddling with his phone to find Andy's number when Gwen appeared in the doorway, her arms folded as she watched him pack. He didn't know why, maybe because it had all been going to shit but he just hit record on his phone beside him and kept packing, determined not to be blamed for anything else around here.

"So, going are you?"

"Well, you lied to Rhys and said I patted your arse or something. Funny thing is… it was you trying to kiss me back at school remember? Me telling you to get off, you belonged to Rhys?" Ianto said as he opened another drawer.

"Yeah, and I said you would be sorry you tuned me down ya wanker" she said with delight "So… ha fucking ha. You are gone! You tree hugging pagan freak! You know… your sort is not welcome here in my town. Never were. Dancing in the fucking moonlight like witches and the whole… poofter thing."

"When Rhys has no friends left what then... you will start on his mother?" Ianto asked straightening up to look at her.

"This is MY house now" she said with amusement "Don't you get that? This is MY house now. When we are wed there will be changes, you mark my words. No more pub, no more footy… oh no. You are just one of many I've managed to scare off."

"Scare… Gwen … you don't scare me" Ianto laughed "and sooner or later Rhys will realize I never touched your arse."

"So what if you didn't touch my arse. What stops me from going down right now and telling him you tried to kiss me?" she laughed back at him "Tosser."

"Go ahead. I dare you" Ianto said with venom, "go on Gwen. Go lie some more!"

She flounced off and Ianto looked at his phone then played it back with satisfaction. Right. He finished packing and headed downstairs, out the front door and to his car where he packed it all in again, amazed it fitted and then he called to Myfanwy who looked more than confused to be leaving the back yard she had started to mark as her own.

"Ianto!" Rhys called out from the front door as he saw Ianto get the dog into the car, but Ianto was done. One thumping at a time yeah?

He drove off more confused than ever.


	8. I've got your number

"Oh my god! He believed her?" Andy asked with surprise, listening intently to the recorded conversation.

"Well… here I am. Up shit creek again… you know… I am up this creek so often I am stating to get used to the smell" Ianto sighed.

"Well… where are you going to go now?" Mel asked.

"Well, the Carter pace is still empty right? They offered it as a short term lease for Jack so.. I will take it instead. At least I will have somewhere the dog can be and I can have some peace and quiet to lick my many festering wounds." Ianto shrugged.

"God, so dramatic" Andy rolled his eyes, then nodded to his mother "right, keys. Mum can do the paperwork while we get you settled, then next time you are going past come in and sign."

.

.

The Carter house was in the same lane as the Jones Homestead so it felt weird to drive past his house to another one but at least he was closer. One step at a time right? Andy was helping Ianto with his gear when an old man came flying out of the back property "what the hell are you two up to?"

"Mister Mossey. Ianto is renting the place for a few months over Christmas and New Years." Andy said calmly to the crazy old man who many knew was more than a slight touched.

"What? No. He can't have it. They moved out and it is not for sale until the middle of July. They said!" he snarled with anger "I don't want him in my way!"

"In your.. Mister Mossey. Ianto is not in your way. This is not your house, hasn't been since you sold it to the Carters. Come on now!" Andy scolded helping Ianto as the old man puffed and spluttered at them.

"What was all that about?" Ianto asked as he watched the old man storm up the side road to the back property once more.

"Well, this was the Mossey House until the new one up the back was built, then the younger lived in this one, the older in the new house. The Olders died and the younger… now the old man… moved up there. The bank started to make waves so they were forced to sell this place in front in order to keep the land and house out back." Andy explained "We are sure they grow in the woods but can't find the bloody plot. I swear the smell of marijuana comes off them in waves."

"Right… prime growing season, time to harvest and dry it right? Maybe they are afraid I will spy on them" Ianto frowned "Like I care. Smoked a bit in my time. If they are harvesting now… why should it matter?"

"Our opinion too, why we ignore them for the most part." Andy nodded "but be careful. The Old Man has no teeth but his grandsons Nigel and Chris… they are wankers. Why the Carters re selling, they can't stand the tension"

At least the house came furnished and Ianto was soon back out at the store gathering supplies for the house as he enjoyed some peace and quiet. God. So over this shit. He wanted to pull up the covers and die.

"Ianto?"

Great. Thought too soon. He turned with a fake smile to find Jack there with a sweet little girl in pigtails "Ianto! This is Alice, my daughter. Ali, this is Ianto. The man who owns our house."

"Hello sweetling" Ianto said, instantly in love with the large eyes and sweet cupid bow mouth that moved into a smile.

"Daddy sez you are gonna let us stay for chrisymas."

Awwwwww.

"Yes. Then a new adventure as Daddy finds another house for you to pretty up" Ianto said to her, crouching to be her height "you know… you look like a pink girl to me… I bet you are a princess in disguise, right?"

She giggled as she nodded enthusiastically and Ianto laughed "Thought so. Far to pretty for the likes of us commoners!"

Jack smiled too, liking the way Ianto made Alice feel important and Ianto rose to address him "I had a little spat with Rhys so I have moved in up the lane in the Carter house that was offered to you. The deep lemon yellow to story one about three doors up so if you see me driving past I am not stalking you… much. Andy gave me your phone number and I will text you so you have mine, in case of emergencies. If I am to be your landlord for a while, i need to know if the place is burning down."

"Ours is Sherbet Yellow, I picked the colour" Alice said with a nod of her head "Lemon is nice and sherbet is yummy."

Jack laughed, then they went their separate ways not knowing how soon they would see one another.

.

.

.

"Ianto? Christ… what time is it?" Jack groaned checking his bedside clock "Three?"

"Jack.. I am so sorry… I think… I think there is someone in my house… downstairs. I… I didn't now who else to call!" Ianto hissed down the phone and Jack was immediately awake, moving for his pants.

"Are you in a safe place?"

"I am in the bedroom upstairs. Locked the door and I have moved behind the bed… against the far wall. I can't hear anyone coming up the stairs but they are definitely downstairs. I heard voices and things moving about."

"I am on my way. Alice is asleep, I will just jog your way... give me a minute" Jack asked, and Ianto hung up, listening with fear while hugging his growling dog as someone or something continued to move around in his house.


	9. again?

"Ianto?"

Ianto recognized Jack's voice and he opened the bedroom door to find him on the other side with a look of confusion "Ianto… I found your dog in the kitchen in the trash bin."

"No… she was with me, and that's not my dog you just let out… there were men, voices and…" Ianto's voice petered out as he looked around Jack at the lit up house, every light turned on and seemingly nothing there. He followed Jack downstairs and pointed "See? I had that table against the basement door."

"Why?"

"I can't find the key and don't care since I am not gong down into a scary space like that. I decided that the table is better there for the run of the kitchen. Myfanwy slips on the tiles and crashes into the table leg otherwise" Ianto shrugged "the table has been moved."

Maybe she did it?"

"No... I am not going mad here Jack. Someone was in my house." Ianto said with a shiver of revulsion.

"Look…it was locked up tighter than a dolphin's arsehole. Seriously, if I didn't know where the spare key was hidden thinks to your instructions, I could not have been able to get in. So... you telling me they have a key?"

"Well… when you put it like that... it does sound naff" Ianto sighed, rubbing his face "But… I am sure of what I heard."

"Look… tomorrow get a locksmith to change the locks and forget about it. Right?" Jack suggested "Now I have to go. I left my kid asleep."

Jack left and as Ianto went to close the door behind him he saw the gun on his hand for the first time. He had meant business.

Comforting.

.

.

.

"So… nothing taken?" Andy asked as he stood in the living room looking around. His mother was there as well and she confirmed that everything as there too.

"It is so strange but I know what I heard!" Ianto said with annoyance.

"Well… I have authorized the lock-smith so… we are going to all be fine" Mel soothed "You need a rest."

"God. Do I!" Ianto snorted.

"Heard from Rhys?" Andy asked causally.

"Nope. Not in the mood for that either." Ianto shot back.

"I told him. That recording, I told him I heard it and I know she made up the arse patting thing. He seemed to believe me but… damn she has him under her spell" Andy shook his head "And now you are in here, her old family home."

"What?"

"Yeah… the family behind us… the 'Mad Mosseys' … she is a niece." Andy laughed "See? She was born that way."

"Oh my god" Ianto groaned, "It's them doing this? Maybe as a payback?"

"Who knows. I know you are not mad, OK?" Andy assured him and Ianto nodded knowing he needed more than locks changed to feel better. He was heading to see another old school friend how might help a man out.

.

.

.

"Security cameras are a good idea" Toshiko agreed as Ianto sat nursing her little boy, his gurgles of glee as Ianto tickled the toddler's feet endearing.

"When Owen gets home he can watch Kai and I will come fit you up… sorry.. out" she giggled as Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Thanks Toshi."

.

.

.

Ianto felt better, relaxed and definitely in charge again as he checked over the house one more time before going to bed with Myf. Doors locked with new locks. Check. Lights off. Check. Motion sensors on. Check. Security cameras on. Check.

"Come on girl, let's get some sleep. I am knackered" Ianto led his dog to the bedroom where he again locked the door and placed a chair against it for good measure. Over kill? Sure. Did it help? Sure.

Ianto settled to get some sleep.

.

.

.

Myfanwy woke him with her low growl, flat on her belly with her head tuned to the door. Ianto sat up and he tried to hear over the rapid beat of his heart.

There.

Furniture moving.

He fumbled with the phone and Jack answered after the fourth ring "Again?"

"Listen" Ianto hissed holding the phone up so Myfanwy's growls were heard, then a sharp bang "She is in here, so who is banging downstairs?"

"Shit" Jack was awake "Stay there."

"Really? I thought I might wander down for a midnight snack, are you sure?" Ianto asked in a sugary voice that had laugher coming over the phone.

Ianto waited with Myf, laying on the floor with his ear to it listening to bangs and furniture moving about then came voices and muffled shouting. Then a gunshot that had Ianto jumping with shock. Then … nothing.

He sat up and looked at the dog who sat up and stared back.

"Ianto?"

Ianto opened the door.

"Some teenagers or a homeless bum something I bet. Raiding your fridge, took off when I fired a shot into the air" Jack assured him.

"But how did they get in?" Ianto demanded, checking for himself and finding the back door wide open where they had fled. He then saw a small straw doll on the back stoop and he picked it up with a feeling of dread. A Talisman?

"You know... I don't like this" Jack said with annoyance as he finally saw that Ianto had been telling the truth "let's check those cameras."


	10. so you wanna play do you?

They all watched in silence as dark figures moved around the house, confirming Ianto's fears that someone WAS in the house with him. Andy was openly scared of the figures, peering around like they might appear in the doorways at any moment. A fine specimen of law enforcement eh?

"OK. This is going too far now" Jack muttered as he leaned in "What the hell are they wearing?"

"Looks like some sort of Halloween costume… a stag? A helmet with deer horns on it and a big deer pelt… trying to scare Ianto off?" Owen asked, Toshiko's husband and local doctor.

"But why?" Ianto asked now calmer as he saw that he was not only believed, they all looked like they wanted to help here. "Herne the Hunter is a god that protects the innocent… why pretend he is trying to get me?"

Jack looked at Him with raised eyebrows.

"Pagan. Its… its ancient lore" Ianto shrugged.

"Scare you off? Out? Why indeed. So they know you to know your religious beliefs, right? Just clearly not well enough" Jack muttered leaning forward again "something to do with that basement isn't it. They seem to … come on. Let's do this."

They all stormed from the living room to the kitchen and Jack walked to the basement door, turning it and finding it locked as per usual. He kicked it in with one swift boot to the door near the lock and Ianto felt a slight thrill in the way the man handled himself, finding his eyes moving to the man's gorgeous arse. Gods. Stop it.

They all wandered down, finding the light switch and invading the dark space with light and sod. Owen started to yank open cupboards as everyone looked around and shrugged. Finally Owen spoke "nothing. No hidden door or bogey man under the stairs. What a letdown."

With soft laughter, they all headed back upstairs as Jack lingered a moment longer, sniffing the air with interest as something seemed to linger there that was vaguely familiar… he just couldn't put his finger on it. Something was definitely not right here.

"Right. We have two choices here. You move into the house with me and Alice and we cut our losses or we set ourselves up for a little surprise evening" Jack surmised to Ianto as they sat in the living room once more.

"Part of me wants to run but that is what they want. Nice as the thought is to have a Christmas with a family. Another part of me, a large bloody part of me wants to fight back. I am done being a doormat" Ianto shrugged "What do you suggest?"

"Toshiko and Owen here stay at my…sorry… your house to watch over Alice and I hide here while you openly show yourself to still be here. We wait for them to do their thing and I catch one of them. Then we find out what the hell this is all about" Jack said with his arms folded confidently.

"Let's do it!" Ianto said with a nod of his head, not wanting to run anymore.

.

.

.

"OK, do you think you really don't need me there?" Andy asked as he fiddled with something on his desk, the phone tucked into his shoulder.

"No.. just be on call because if I catch one, you will know about it" Jack answered.

"You know… Ianto is really a nice guy. A good guy. Also… life here was not so good for him as a kid. The first openly gay guy in the school." Andy said like it was a throw away comment and he waited for a response but just got air so he added "Bisexuality is still something people do not particularly like. The fact he got a black girlfriend when he left did not exactly make it better. Now she is out of the picture he is a free agent."

Still nothing.

"And ya know, when we were checking out that basement… he was checking out your arse."

"He was?"

Ah. Finally a response. Andy grinned "Yep. He looked quite... interested in it."

"Huh"

.

.

.

Ianto was pleased to find Jack slinking around the side of the house and in the side door, a bag in his hands and dark clothing that hugged him in such a way that Ianto's eyes could not help but check out that arse again. Gods, that is a nice arse.

"I had a thought, want to have a nose around if that's alright" Jack said as he placed the bag in the living room where he intended to wait after dark.

"Sure, go for it" Ianto shrugged "hungry? I made enough pizza for both of us… well three of us actually."

"Great. I was too nervous to eat with Alice and I know Toshiko and Owen are fussing on her like godparents or something. You know... they are a nice couple. Their little guy is sooo cute." Jack called back from the hallway then started to stomp.

Ianto heard him and came from the kitchen to watch with interest as Jack stomped the length of the hallway and muttering to himself "Thought so."

"What's that?"

"A hunch" Jack replied, "You keep going."

"OK" Ianto said slowly, leaving him to the stomping and muttering things with Myfanwy slowly following him, the pizza more interesting as Ianto added a side salad and some iced tea.

They ate in companionable silence and then started to talk about themselves, the hours ticking away as the sun went down and the two men found themselves animatedly talking and laughing as they connected. Both loved books. Hiking, mountain climbing and skiing. Both hated clutter and rude people. They seemed… suited.

Jack saw potential.


	11. trap set

Ianto did his usual evening routine, calling Myfanwy into the bedroom and settling in the bed, waiting for a while to match the time he usually spent reading before turning off the light to try and catch a few hours sleep before the madness began.

His heart was pounding in his chest, even with Jack waiting downstairs, it was still a scary thought that someone was doing this. He still didn't know why.

Right on cue, the first of the banging that had Myfanwy sitting up and growling softly. Ianto did as he was asked and waited in the room as the dog started to bark now. Ianto waited and finally heard the first boom of the gun, jumping with fright and then he heard a high pitched scream.

OK.

Now he couldn't' help it, opening the door and letting the dog out. An enraged German shepherd took off with a deep roar of anger, heading done the stairs and Ianto stood on the landing listening as the sound of a dog attack started to waft up, Jack yelling at whoever it was to lay still and for Myfanwy to release her prey.

Ianto felt a surge of relief as he knew Jack was OK then he felt more than saw something to his left, turning his head to find someone standing at the end of the landing watching him. Horns on its head and a menacing feeling to its hunched posture.

Ianto roared as he took off, running for it in a low crouch like a good rugby player of old and before the person tripping over a little black and white cat could register tht heir 'prey' was attacking, Ianto had him around the waist picking him up and slamming him down over the banister to the floor below.

Ianto roared again, running down the stairs as the man now on the ground floor started to yell with pain, no doubt the angle of the leg under him not that comfortable. Ianto launched himself on top of him and the lights came on as Jack appeared, pulling Ianto off to laugh and hug him against him "Easy there slugger. It's OK. Andy is on the way."

"Bastard" Ianto kicked at the man who was now moaning and rocking with pain as the broken leg was really looking bad.

"The other one is handcuffed to the table. Calm down" Jack laughed then Ianto swung to face him with wide eyes.

Are you OK?" Ianto asked, his hands on Jack's shoulders "I heard the shot and…"

"I am fine. A bit of a scuffle but…." Jack's words were silenced as Ianto kissed him, deep and passionate before stepping back with alarm.

"Sorry.. I had to taste you at least once" Ianto finally said "God… I feel like superman!"

"You taste like how I imagine a super hero might taste too" Jack laughed, kissing Ianto with vigor.

"Knock knock" Andy said in the doorway with amusement.

"Sorry Andy… so excited" Ianto said then blushed furiously as the other two men roared with mirth.

"Right, come on. I worked it out" Jack said, clapping his hands and they followed him down to the basement as the man handcuffed to the table begged them to get the dog back with feeble whinging. Myf continued to stand on guard, her head down and teeth bared.

The men entered the basement stood there.

"Right. I worked out from stomping on the floor upstairs that this room is half the size it should be. Somewhere on this wall here.. is a hidden door." Jack said as he started yanking at shelving and after a while Andy called out. A shelf moved.

They looked into the room and Jack looked at Ianto with glee, and then stepped into the largest hydroponics set up they had ever seen. Jack walked the length of it and then turned to the men "And here is how they are getting in."

He pulled back a plastic sheeting and they stared at the tunnel entrance.

"A tunnel." Andy said calmly.

"Yes. If we take this, it will go back to the other house behind us, right? This is why they wanted us out of here, why they were using scare tactics. These mature plants are ready to harvest. God, the smell."

"That's what I could smell? I thought it was a sewer backed up … ewww" Ianto huffed "well… OK. This is why they made life hell for the Carters and scare off any potential buyers for the place. They want to keep doing this as long as they can. So what now?"

"Now you come home with me and we let Andy do his thing with his friends" Jack said with a grin "And maybe be discuss that kissing a little more? After all… we may need to negotiate some more… what?"

"Gwen fucking Cooper. Related to them. She told them about my Pagan heritage. Why else would they chose Herne to scare me?" Ianto was enraged "bitch"

"We can talk to her about that" Andy nodded.

"No. Don't. No… I have a better idea. Don't you worry… she will get hers!" Ianto snarled, fed up with this shit but now he was on the offensive. No more running. Nope. Superman does not run.

Gwen was going to learn one way or another that this was the wrong man to fuck with.


	12. i think we're alone now

Myfanwy loved Alice on sight, the little girl still in her little nightgown as she ate her breakfast, her eyes firmly on the dog. Janet didn't mind a playmate either. The little cat and the German Shepherd bounded about as Alice laughed, choking on her milkshake before bolting after them and Jack watched Ianto quietly clean up after the child.

"What do you want to do now?" Jack asked "You can't go back there. Full of police and investigators. It's basically a crime scene now. I think… maybe the spare room? Stay here with us?"

"I can't impose like that!" Ianto huffed.

"It's almost Christmas. Sty here, enjoy Christmas with us and maybe in the new year we can talk things over. I mean… you ever considered a flatmate? See how it goes?" Jack asked. "This is your house after all."

"Flatmates? Well… we can see about that. Negotiate maybe" Ianto blinked and Jack leered as he winked, then Ianto snorted with mirth as he saw the offer there.

"Maybe" he finally said softly "We would like that. Myfanwy at least, has found love with your girl."

Jack laughed as he watched the dog race past, Alice following with her little gumboots flashing underneath her nightgown. "Alice… come on. Come get dressed ya nutter."

Ianto looked around his old house and saw the new life inside it. He watched the little girl embrace his dog and then turned to the man who was standing close by doing the dishes and he took Jack's face in his hands kissing him gently. Bubbles rolled down Jack's arms and he hummed happily into the kiss.

"Flatmates indeed" Ianto said as he pulled away and Jack grinned as he agreed that they might want to play around this a little longer... but not much longer. No. They both knew they were going to be more than just flatmates if they took the road ahead together.

Christmas was going to be interesting …. the new year? Looking great.

.

.

.

Ianto was in the general store staring at the display of dolls, trying to work out which ones Alice already had when a noise interrupted his inspection of his phone. The photo he had taken of her collection on her shelf was some help but he hadn't known that some were the same colour but different. He turned to find Gwen there snarling at him. Great.

"Go away Gwen" he said flatly, turning back to the dolls but she was not ready to leave just yet.

"Why are you still here, didn't we get rid of you yet?" she snarled. Ianto blinked then slowly turned to her once more.

"How is your cousin? His leg ws broken pretty badly hen I chucked him down the stairs" Ianto said with a wide smile as he hit record on the phone still in his hand "It was you wasn't it. You told them to dress like that to scare me, use my religion against me, right? Herne? You are the one who told your family that one of the gods I worship is a man who is also a stag spirit right?"

"They almost had to amputate hi leg you piece of shit. You had no right to be there in that house" she was bristling "You got my uncle and two of my cousins arrested. Do you have any idea how much that crop was worth? One of our best!" she demanded "That was going to pay for my wedding!"

Ianto blinked, and then could help the soft laughter "Really? The illegal hydro set up under the house that they were trying to scare me away from was… yours?"

"Weddings are not cheap and that was going to pay for it, and my honeymoon in Paris" she was shaking with rage now "you never seem to take a hint to you. I will make you pay for that, for costing me that crop. Your family were always weird and you… you little bum fucker, when I am finished with you the entire town will chase you out with pitchforks! It's a sin to lay with another man!"

"I'm weird? Go ahead. Try your worst. Don't you know? Did the attack in my home tell you nothing about me Gwen? If you come at me, I will not run away anymore. I will meet you head on. So come on… go tell someone I just did something to you." Ianto sighed. "Lie your big tits off yet again. Sooner or later, your chickens WILL come home to roost ya know."

"This is a dead zone. Used to work here ya know, no cameras. I could. I could say you just touched my breast. Or... maybe you shoved me against the shelving and shoved your hand down my top, I like this top but I can always buy another. I only have to rip it a little" she chortled "They will believe me over you. Freak"

"Me. The gay guy?"

"Gay! You are a fucking poo pusher and a disgusting piece of filth that should not be around that little girl." Gwen changed tack real fast and Ianto blinked as he saw the real reason for her animosity.

"You thought you had a chance with him, didn't you. Right? You wanted Jack and you are pissed that I have come in and swooped him up. Right? That's it? You're jealous!" Ianto sneered now, enjoying the rush of anger on her face that told him he was right "What about Rhys. He's a good man. You could really shag someone else behind his back?"

"That man is gorgeous. Movie star gorgeous, I would have fucked him into the mattress and Rhys would make me dinner while I wash him off later!" Gwen said with confidence "Like he does with all my other lovers in this town!"

"Who else would have you!" Ianto demanded.

"Henry over in the butchery department, Miles at the post office when his wife is out of town, Denver from the fire house to name a few. I have more lovers than you've probably opened your arse cheeks for, that's for sure!" she sniffed.

"Oh. What makes you think I am the receiver?" Ianto asked then flounced down the aisle "Bye Gwen. Good luck with that wedding!"

Her look of shock as she gaped at him was worth it as he snatched a couple of dolls in passing.

He checked his hone and stopped record.

Gotcha!


	13. Christmas

Ianto opened the door to find Andy there, a look of consternation as he looked back at Ianto with something in this hand.

"Andy Pandy… come on in. what's up?" Ianto stepped back as Andy came up the steps into his home.

Andy explained that the store wanted to trespass him for having a go at Gwen so Ianto played the recording as Jack stopped drying dishes to listen as well. The part about not being a receiver making him roar with mirth and call him cheeky.

"Shit" Andy said softly when the recording finished "She said you had a go at her and she was scared for her feckin life. Sounds like it. Christ."

"Can you do me a favour?" Ianto asked as he fiddled with the table cloth "Don't let on about this? Give me the trespass notice and we will sit on this?"

"Why? That is proof of her involvement in the drugs and … what are you up to Jonesy?" Andy narrowed his eyes "you have that devious look."

"The wedding is coming up in the New Year right? Be a shame if someone sabotaged it" Ianto shrugged and Andy sat back with a wide grin.

"You bastard. The entire town will be there, if you ….ooooooooo. Then I can arrest her and they will all know why. Let's do it!"

Jack threw down the tea towel "What's the plan tiger?"

.

.

.

"Rhys?" Ianto was expecting this one and still didn't' like this side of it but he had to accept this even if it stung as Rhys stood on the doorstep threatening him with violence and telling him not to ever speak to him again.

"You are a good man Rhys. She is making a fool of you but... you are a good loyal man. Shame it's not to your mates. OK. Goodbye" Ianto said as he closed the door, the only words he had spoken since the one word of greeting.

Rhys stood on the other side feeling strangely bereft even if he had said everything he wanted to in warning. Ianto's face had been…. Disappointed. As Rhys walked to his car he wondered yet again if he was making the right choice here.

.

.

.

Ianto had expected Christmas to be a quiet affair, especially with the crap going on but once he had 'bubbled' himself he found this Christmas to be exciting and new as he saw it through the eyes of the sweet little girl that had quickly got under his skin.

Christmas Eve night, they put her to bed and crept about with gifts, both men giggling as more than once they scared the bejesus out of one another on the stairs. That bloody cat almost tripping them both at different times. Ianto was still a little nervy after what had happened with Gwen's family and still found a figure coming at him in the dark a bit unnerving in the living room so as Jack entered to place something under the tree he found himself slammed into the wall and he squeaked "It's me!"

"I know" came the growled response moments before lips slammed into his and he found it was a sneak attack of another kind. Oh. Wow. WOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW.

It was not the most affectionate or loving first time. It was more like a snatch and grab with snarling, growling, teeth and nipped clothing but both men were so overly ready for this that it didn't' matter and they fucked right there on the floor in front of the dying embers of the fire.

Jack had not expected this as all, hoped sure but really… he knew Ianto was a rare kind of sweetness and he had been so hard to read. Now as they both lay debouched and panting through the aftermath of their combined 'explosions' he started to huff with laughter "wow. Ho-ho-ho. Merry Christmas."

"Why Santa" Ianto rolled to him, his dick against Jack's leg already twitching again "What do you have for me?"

"A surprise" Jack growled seizing said dick as Ianto giggled and kissed him some more.

It was another hour before they made it up to Jack's bed where they were a little more considerate of one another this time instead of greedy. Not that it mattered. Both men liked it hard, fast and with a little burning afterwards.

Matched.

Jack held Ianto as the man slept, staring into space as he went over the last few months and the amazingly crazy things that had bought them together, then he smiled to himself as he whispered into the darkness of their bedroom "Herne, if you are real… thanks."

Jack finally slept as the world turned and Christmas gave up it's miracles.

.

.

.

Alice was in raptures.

Ianto had picked the right dolls and he was quite pleased with himself, the lovely monogrammed journal from Jack a sweet and appropriate gift as Ianto had LOTS to write in it.

Jack was both surprised and excited to find the compete DVD collation of Dirty Harry movies, something he loved but had never thought to collect for himself and he knew many nights of 'Dirty' watching were ahead of them.

The turkey was perfect, as was the glazed ham that Ianto had painstakingly cooked over again which Jack had no idea you could do. Ianto cooked like a demon and Jack was so grateful for all the twists and turns in this mad escapade.

As Ianto leaned over to place down their desert, the kiss to Jack's forehead made a little girl's eyes widen slightly as well.

Seems she had a wish or two coming to fruition today as well.

Ianto had made his already… he hoped Gwen was ready for it.


	14. slam dunk

It was the morning of the big day.

WEDDING DAY!

The invitation was on the fridge, even if he had been disinvited and Ianto looked at it now and then as he sought resolve for what he had to do in order to save his mate. Even if it hurt, he had to do this. What could he lose? Rhys had already made his choice and Ianto had to respect that… not.

Jack entered the kitchen and knew what Ianto was looking at, reaching out to hook his hips and pull him in from behind, kissing the back of his neck as Ianto sighed and leaned back into the embrace.

"Good morning good looking" Jack whispered "you OK?"

"Nervous and a little ashamed of myself for even doing this but… I did make a New Year's Resolution to always run into the fray. It worked with that family, it worked with the store law suit and look at us?"

Ianto turned to face Jack with a grin. The payout from the settlement had come though and it was twice as much as Ianto had hoped for. More than enough for the upgrades this house needed and enough left over for a lovely little nest egg.

Now that Ianto had decided where he wanted to be, who he wanted to be and who with… things were falling into place. This little Lemon Sherbet house was popping!

..

.

.

Owen was in the DJ booth grinding away like a lad drug crazed spider money as the music pumped, the wedding almost underway as guests arrived to be seated. Toshiko was nearby with a look of glee as her little boy clung to her with wide eyes taking in all the people in one place.

The entire town had turned up…well… bar the homosexual remembers that is. Ianto and Jack were conspicuous in their absence and more than one person had quietly remarked that it was a shame Rhys' childhood friend was not here today to support the union. Gwen was fast putting around that Ianto was jealous of the wedding had had made several passes at her now.

Ianto found almost every store cold and uninviting with his hours at the library reduced to the evening shift when no one came in. He knew what was happening as the town slowly tried to freeze him out and as much as it hurt he knew he had to remain calm and look at the goal. Idiots… he is gay right? With a man living in sin… yet you believe Gappy?

IT was almost time.

Toshiko moved to look down the back row of the town hall where the wedding was taking place. Too big for the church as it seemed like the entire town had turned out to celebrate this…well… bar four people. Jack and Ianto were obvious but the surprise had been Harry and Dominic who ran the local bistro. Seems that couple were excluded as well and as people settled they started to notice their local gay couple that not only embraced their sexuality but flaunted it with over the top clothing and camp acting were also not there.

For the first time people started to see that there was something not quite right about this. After all… who was catering this event? The staff from the bistro moving around quietly as more than one person asked in hushed tones where their bosses were only to learn that they were not invited.

By the time Gwen exited the back room to look out with satisfaction the gentle murmuring had spread through the crowd that both sets of Gay couples were being excluded from the town's brightest day. Gwen did not notice. Gwen was almost ready, the music about to start as she took her father's arm and it swelled as she walked toward Rhys. His face a mixture of joy and pure terror. As she reached him the music died and the priest was about to speak when the speaker scratched and the first phone recording played.

Gwen looked around wildly as Rhys stood stock still with shock.

Then the next one, then the last one in the store the other day with her laugher echoing in the hall.

Then silence.

Andy stood with a look of glee "Gwendolyn Amelia Cooper I am arresting you under the Drugs Act of 1985 and you have the right to remain silent…."

As Andy read her her rights the place erupted, some turning to their neighbor to gossip freely as some moved to leave, their disgust clear.

Rhys stood there in pure shock as his mother powered up the aisle to snarl into Gwen's face "MY HOUSE BITCH!"

.

..

.

Ianto listened as Owen and Toshiko replayed everything with Andy adding a piece here and there around his mouthful of food, Jack watching as Ianto reveled in the game. Then Toshiko managed to hack into the videographer's cloud account as he was editing the footage from the day, and they watched that with a nice bottle of wine, Ianto choking softly as Rhys' mother screamed in Gwen's face… the close up showing her spittle.

"That was dirty pool" Jack said after they had left and Ianto shrugged, turning from waving to face him.

"Like I warned her, come at me… I come at you!" Ianto stepped in close to Jack and smiled as he added "Love me… I love you."

Jack blinked then frowned as he replied "And I love you to, ya mad bastard."

"Good. Seems you are stuck with me Captain Harkness."


	15. when you have lemons... love them

Rhys was at the door, this time apologetics and bereft but Ianto was not ready for this as he hung back letting Jack open the door and tell the poor man Ianto was not available right now. "Sorry buddy, maybe in a few days?"

"I understand" Rhys sighed, looking around the front yard "Like the paint job. Yellow is so… cheerful."

"Yes, the lemon trees look greet when the roses are bloom too." Jack agreed stepping down to look at the rose bushes now planted amongst the lemon trees. The different yellows of the flowers already starting to bloom in a cheerful display. "So gay."

Rhys seemed to sag a bit more as Jack openly preened "I am building another archway to replace the one Alice broke. Ianto is going to train some clambering roses over that. Apparently there is one called Sunset that starts yellow but as it opens it starts to change to pink, then red before it fades off. Pretty right? I think our front yard will be full of colour."

"So you and Ianto…"

"Oh yeah" Jack said, his face turning wistful as he sighed softy "That man is… well. Let's just say I am a lucky man and those gods of his were clearly looking out for us both. Yeah. A new year and a new beginning"

Rhys nodded "Well… tell him I came right? I'm sorry?"

Ianto let the curtain fall as he stepped back for the window, listening to Rhys' pain and wanting to go out to comfort but at the same time… he needed time to forgive too.

Myfanwy brushed against his legs as she walked past, the cat not far behind as Janet let her tail curl around Ianto's legs for a moment. Comforting.

Ianto smiled and turned to Alice at the table "come on darling. Shoes on and school.."

She smiles happily as she rushed to please him.

Ianto stood at the school gates waving to her as she rushed inside to put her bag away, then find her friends.

"Ianto Jones" a voice said and he turned to find a familiar face.

"Kerry! Hey!" Ianto smiled, then felt a slight shit as he remembered she was a certain butcher's wife "Er… how are you?"

"Doing OK. You know… I had suspected for a while he was fiddling with someone but... just didn't' know who. Bitch" she folded her arms as she watched her two sons head inside "He is sooo sorry now."

"Yeah. All those sharp knifes, almost lost something I guess?"" Ianto winked and she laughed as she nodded.

"This town owes you an apology ya know. Not just for what happened but… even in school things were not easy for you. We were… well. Kids"

"But there is a chance to make it all good now. New days, right?" Ianto hugged her and then released her "Ooops, gonna say I felt your boobs? Because ya know… they are nice."

She roared with mirth as she slapped at him and hugged him back "Cheeky bastard. You know, that Jack Harkness has never looked so happy. The man practically dances. So cute."

"Yeah… he is" Ianto said with a sigh of pleasure.

"So, what now for you Mister Jones?"

"Well, my old employer just contacted me to ask if I wanna manage a stone here in town, seems this place needs a book store and he owes me big time. Likes to come this way to fly-fish and the idea of me here pleases him so… I am going to have a busy year ahead of me" Ianto said with glee. The lovely Old Man coming through for him.

"You know, you always were a lemonade kinda guy" she said and Ianto frowned with confusion so he elaborated "You know… given lemons so you make lemonade."

"Fuck lemonade!" Ianto laughed as he looked around at his life "I am popping those lemons onto some vodka, every time!"

She roared with mirth as he popped a hip and then sashayed back to his car to head home to his Lemon Sherbet Life.

Cheers.

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.

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Thanks for reading.


End file.
